Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
