there's paper in my vomit.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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