So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
