the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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