i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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