you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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