I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
