I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize