he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
