he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
