if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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