apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
