She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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