Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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