is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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