Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
