He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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