shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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