Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
