do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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