oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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