Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
