my being single is dangerous.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize