My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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