dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
