Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
