why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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