Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so explain again why im purple
no
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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