You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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