she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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