Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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