The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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