Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
