but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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