My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
