The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize