I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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