too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
