i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
