youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
