Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
