I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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