is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
