Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
