Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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