it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
