I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
