He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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