So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
