I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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