He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
