I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i can't believe i had my finger in that
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
