I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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