we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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