Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
