I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?