hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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