If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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