90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
