Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize