Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
