I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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