Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
