You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize