Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When are your genitals available?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
