Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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