me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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