why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
