I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
